


Guardian

by randomcheeses



Series: Family [4]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: AU, Gen, Gen Fic, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-08
Updated: 2010-08-08
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomcheeses/pseuds/randomcheeses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Al wasn't the only one to end up four years younger?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guardian

Roy knew he should be happy. Celebrating, even. The Elrics had finally managed to restore themselves and could now have normal lives as two completely flesh and blood human beings. Ed’s contract would be up in a few months and then he and his destructive tendencies would be out of the military and out of Roy’s hair.

Of course, said destructive tendencies had proved useful in helping to push Roy up the military ladder and he’d cheerfully taken every opportunity for advancement that Ed’s chaotic brilliance had provided. But still, he had to admit that Ed would be better off out of the military and despite their differences, Roy really did want Ed to have what was best for him.

Thus, the Flame Alchemist should have been celebrating at Alphonse’s return to flesh and blood, and the restoration of Edward’s limbs. Unfortunately, there was one, small, problem.

When the Elric brothers had restored themselves, they’d somehow restored themselves right back to the way they had been before. _Exactly_ as they had been. Which meant that Roy now had to come up with an exceedingly good explanation for his superiors as to why the Fullmetal Alchemist was eleven years old again and why he and his brother had absolutely no memory of the last four and a half years.

Said alchemist and his brother were currently huddled on the couch in Roy’s office, wrapped only in blankets, because they’d been found stark naked in their dorm room on top of an inconceivably complex array by a very startled Lt. Havoc, who had been dispatched to find clothing that actually fit the two boys as soon as he’d calmed down from his fit of panic.

The first thing that Ed had said after Roy had demanded to know if they were all right and what the _hell _had happened, had been a confused “who are you?” followed by Al’s observation that “he looks kinda like teacher to me, brother.” (And oh god, did Roy not want to be reminded of his big sister right now. She was going to steal his gloves and maroon him on Yock Island again when she heard about this. He knew it.)

So now the boys were on his office couch staring silently at everything and drinking hot chocolate provided by Hawkeye, while Roy hid behind the relative safety of his desk and listened to Hughes inform him about how many of his superiors were interested in knowing exactly how the Elrics had rejuvenated themselves.

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Hughes,” he groaned quietly, holding up a hand to stall the flow of information, “just let me know when Fullmetal’s mechanic and her grandmother get here so that they can see the boys safely back to Resembool where they’ll be out of reach of my overly inquisitive superiors while we clean up this mess.”

“That’s, uh, something else I’ve kinda been trying to bring to your attention, Roy,” Hughes said. “They can’t. Orphaned minors can only stay with their legal guardian. Which Mrs. Rockbell is not. Not on paper anyway.”

Roy frowned. “Technically, Ed and Al don’t have a legal guardian. They became emancipated minors once Ed joined the military.”

“True,” Hughes agreed. “But General Raven is arguing that since they somehow managed to turn back the clock, so to speak, they are no longer members of the military.”

“And thus none of his business-” 

“Usually. Except that an alchemist with the power that Ed and Al have demonstrated-”

“Is a threat to state security and thus under the jurisdiction of the military, or some other ridiculous excuse like that, am I right?” Roy finished with a sigh.

“Pretty much,” Hughes confirmed. “Except, as General Grumman pointed out, they do in fact have a military approved guardian. There’s paperwork and everything.” The bespectacled man began to grin.

“What?” Roy asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Who?”

Hughes raised an eyebrow back at him and Roy’s stomach started to sink. “Not me!” he protested. “I never signed anything like tha- oh. Oh. Crap.”

“Yep,” his best friend agreed, a trifle too happily in Roy’s opinion. “That time Ed was in hospital and the doctor wouldn’t let you see him. You remember. Afterwards, you asked me to find the proper paperwork for you so that you wouldn’t have to threaten anyone with incineration just to see your subordinate-”

“-and I signed that form that gave me the right to have final say on Ed’s medical matters. Yes, but I thought that was only power of attorney. Whatever rights he chooses to give me, yes?”

“When it applies to emancipated minors, yes,” Hughes said. “It’s only a sort of power of attorney then. But like I said, Raven argued that Ed and Al are dependant minors now instead of military personnel. Which makes you, as their legal guardian, responsible for everything from clothes they wear to the-”

“-food they eat,” Roy interrupted. “Great.”

Hughes gave him an irritated look. “Hey, can I finish my sentences, please?”

“Sorry.”

“As I was saying,” Hughes continued pointedly, “according to the law, _you_ are their guardian. Legally, you actually have the right to call yourself their father.”

Roy looked at the two amnesiac Elrics in rapidly developing horror. They looked back.

Al smiled at him and waved shyly. Ed glared and stuck out his tongue.

“I’m doomed,” Roy groaned. He buried his head in hands, radiating abject despair.

“Yep. Congratulations and welcome to the wonderful world of pre-teen parenting,” Hughes said cheerfully.

“Oh shut up.”


End file.
